Company Of Great Men.........

To show or to get attention is probably an instinct. It has come to be accepted that being identified great is an achievement. Just being good is not. This has pushed most of us in to what we do. Consciously or otherwise we do show off.

We see people walk holding cover of the book visible, probably to show that they read. Lying to portray us honest is another! May it be a latest mobile phone or a new ring tone, the news will reach the audience: our neighbors. Are we trying to build images? Are we trying to feel great? Or is it that most of us are not modest and do not believe that we are the beasts of same nature like every other!

The desire to show off is so intense that our entire attempt to keep ourselves modest fails sometimes. I myself have found it very hard to contain certain actions of mine that are so impulsive and instinct driven that they can not be controlled. They are so embarrassing that they can not be printed here!

Weaknesses are so easy to identify yet very hard to rectify. We seem to learn with every mistake, not but to make the mistake of another kind! I live with the belief that I am growing beyond those silly attitudes and whims that we make other to put up with. Yet when I am part of another behavior of the same kind, get disillusioned.

I have told myself often that errors have been an exception and that I have been good otherwise. I am what I want to be. So far that, lo I told myself the other day, I am the best creature that the nature never wanted to make but made it by mistake. Again that those errors were anomalies. In reality we are what we are. We are not we want to be. Very because (excuse me) we want to be that! What we say and do reflects not we are but again what we want to be. In effect we are a complex mixture of what we are and what we want to be!

Is it so hard to accept ourselves as we are? Yes indeed, that often is the case dear :). Our desire to be in the company of the great men and women we read in history unconsciously drives us. Some for good and some for bad.
~r