Murphy Laws

Not that I have stopped being creative. (Was I ever......creee...) But better things deserve respect, you see!
So I have copied some from Wikipedia here :)

A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will always land butter-side down. Also known by kids as "Jellybread always falls jellyside down". Based on the fact that such bread usually has just enough added torque to spin halfway before hitting the floor (if knocked from an eight-foot ladder, for example, it will tend to land buttered side up).

If you put two cords together, or even if it's a single cord, you can be certain you'll end up with a tangle that'll trouble your mind intensely. Perfect example is earphones and the way they'll always tangle beyond belief even if you put them down in a tidy order.

When you need an item that is in a heap, it will always be the one at the bottom.

Buses take ages to arrive, but when they do they always arrive in sets of three (in Britain "you wait ages for a bus, then two come along at once!"). There actually is a logical explanation for this: the first bus is slowed down because of the time needed to let passengers get on and off. The subsequent buses are (typically) not allowed to pass the first bus, so you tend to end up with a full bus followed by a line of empty ones.

The day you forget your umbrella, it pours with rain.

When graphing, the graph paper is always one square too small for the perfect scale

When caught in a traffic jam, the lane that you are in will always be the slowest to move. (This joke was played out in the opening sequence of the film Office Space, where one of the main characters changed lanes multiple times, all in vain as the traffic around him moved.) This also has a logical explanation. In general, the lane with the fewest cars in it is most likely to move the fastest. Therefore, since you're statistically more likely to be one of the members of the lane with the most cars, your lane will more often than not be the slow one.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think. Or, everything takes twice as long as it should; excepting that which appears easy, taking three times as long.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If something simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.

Junk will grow to fill the available cupboard space.

Storage requirements will increase to meet storage capacity (usually in reference to fileservers; see also Parkinson's law).

All small objects of value will disappear when set down.

Magellan's Allegory: If you stop and ask someone for directions, and they tell you "You can't miss it"... then be assured that you will.

If you make it idiot-proof, someone will make a better idiot.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train.

When you put your pants on without looking — they will always be on backwards.

A series of events will go wrong in the most negative sequence.

Airline Travel Variation: The time you have to catch a flight is inversely proportional to the distance to the gate.
50/50/90-If there is a 50/50 chance to get it right, there is a 90% chance that you will get it wrong.

Nothing ever gets built to budget or to deadline (also known as Cheop's Law).

Good/Fast/Cheap - If you need something good fast, it won't be cheap. If you need something cheap fast, it won't be good. If you need something good cheap, it won't be fast.

The day you wash your car is the day it will rain

1. If something can go wrong, it will. 2. If nothing can go wrong it will. 3. When things can't get any worse, they do. John Emsley

Do not worry. It will get worse. If it does not, is because you are not worrying anymore (Songo's conclusion).

Tolerances add up unidirectionally to cause the maximum difficulty in assembly (Klipstein's Law).